If you’re single, and looking to meet somebody special, here’s your first heads-up – it probably won’t happen in your local club on a Saturday night. You can (and will!) find love in the most unusual places – at holiday parks in Norfolk, scuba diving in Sicily, or shopping in Scarborough. “Fine,” you say. “I knew that already. I’m a pro. Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Very well,” we respond. “Have you ever thought about your plan of action if you meet somebody irresistible on a plane?”
It’s true that whilst many women are capable of being love goddesses on the ground, if they meet someone on a flight, they turn into gibbering, obvious wrecks. If you’ve ever missed an opportunity to get chatting to a gorgeous man because of nerves (fear of flying or otherwise), here is the best way to pull on a plane.
1. Don’t be obvious. If you spot someone who takes your fancy, try to avoid waving, winking, pouting, or squeezing over them to get to the toilet too many times. They’ll just think you’ve got a facial tic, and that you have bowel problems. There’s no point making yourself too available – if that special someone spots you too, he’ll find a way to talk to you. Let him do all the work.
2. So, let’s just say that you’ve ended up chatting by the toilet (great), or he’s managed to wangle getting the seat next to you. Here’s the hard part – if it’s a short-haul flight, fine, but if it’s long haul, you may end up having to tell him to find another seat when it’s time for bed, as you don’t want him watching you sleep. This applies even if you’re in first class.
3. Don’t think that this could be the ‘next big romance’. People get bored on flights, and seek out entertainment. Just because Malcolm from Huddersfield is hanging on your every word and suggestively pouring you (another) glass of wine, don’t think he wants to meet your family. To avoid embarrassment, don’t be too flirty, and keep the conversation light. Don’t give him too much information about where you’re going, or for how long. If he wants your number, he can ask for it.
4. Think of others – even if you’re dying for a chat. If the object of your affections wants to talk when the lights are dimming and everyone’s settling down, make it clear that you’ll have to wait until you disembark to strike up a conversation. Oh, by the way – don’t get drunk. Nothing is more irritating when you’re trying to sleep than the sound of a cackling woman, giddily laughing along to another unfunny joke. This isn’t the only reason you shouldn’t drink, as we all know that it lowers inhibitions…
5. …and lowered inhibitions lead to problematic situations. Do not, under any circumstances, be tempted to fool around. This can range from full-on naughtiness in toilets (no!) to kissing. Nobody wants to see that. Not even the stewardesses, who are probably fairly bored whilst the rest of the flight is trying to sleep. Remember that you’ll feel pretty embarrassed in the arrivals lounge when a small child shouts, ‘There’s the lady that was kissing that man for hours.’ They will be talking about you.
6. So, you’ve been chatting for hours, you’ve landed, and you’ve collected your bags. This is the point when your plane buddy should be asking for your number. If he hasn’t by this point, don’t force the issue – and don’t push your number on him. He won’t call, and you’ll look like an idiot. Be cool, ladies – there’s always next time!
Vicky Anscombe is writing on behalf of Richardson’s Holiday Parks, a Norfolk-based company that have been providing family holidays for over 60 years. She enjoys flying (during the day, and when there’s no turbulence) and is not a huge fan of plane food.